Let’s talk pounds.
When I was in high school, I was walking down the hall with a bestie. She looked at another girl that was passing us who was considered “a fat chick” and she said to me, “Wow, she must weight 150.”
150?.... I weighed 150 at the time.
At what age did we start giving so many fucks about this weight number? Better, let’s talk about it, so that we can figure out when we can stop giving a fuck about it.
My weight number story:
My “best” weight as a grown adult female: 135. I was a sophomore in college. I drank like a fish, ate curly fries at the dining hall, went to the gym consistently, and have no idea how or why I weighed that much.
My “worst” weight: 180. I was living in Florida by the beach. I was a good student, I ate healthy, I went to the gym and walked everyday. I had no idea why I weighed that but I knew at the time that I was frustrated and just a little bit heavier than I “should be.” Fun fact: Boys still asked me out.
When I moved back to New Jersey, I discovered that I have a thyroid issue. As soon as I started taking a hormone supplement those extra pounds came off rather easily, and I was back to what I call my resting weight.
My Resting Weight: So, as I mentioned above, I have the thyroid issue. It slows my metabolism, and therefore its easy to gain weight, but harder to take it off. Lucky me, I work in fitness, and I tend to get more steps in than the average person. But, I am normal. Some days I look in the mirror and over analyze. I certainly put pressure on myself to “maintain.” I gained the covid 10 like everyone else last year. I am 5’9, I’m curvy, and my weight honestly fluctuates between 5 and 10 pounds on the regular (which is why I get annoyed when someone complains about gaining or losing 1 or 2 lbs. Ahem, that’s nothing.)
Right now I am 160. My ideal weight is 148, but I usually rest anywhere between 150 and 155. I don’t think I’ll ever weight 135 again and I'm cool with that.
Right now it’s the summer, my husband and I are on a relationship high. Bars and restaurants are open again. I’m having fun taking my kids places. I usually live a mostly dairy and gluten free life because it helps me be less bloated. But I also don’t want to be on my death bed one day mad at myself for not eating cheese and therefore I cheat. Often. I also enjoy a glass of wine on the weekends and treat myself to things because I really try hard the other 6 days of the week to eat super clean. I enjoy taking care of myself, and that means I exercise a degree of balance of good and naughty habits.
To summarize, as a grown adult, ACTIVE (clearly), female, my weight has fluctuated over the years between 135 and 180 pounds. When can we start to honor the female journey and stop labeling it with a number? Goddess is all about the female journey from the crescent, full, and waning moon; youth, adulthood, maturity. We need to honor and ACCEPT ourselves at every stage, and all the little stages in between.
Ask yourself, what if I didn’t step on the scale this morning? What if you didn’t step on the scale for a week? A month? Fucking….. ever again? Stop labeling yourself with your number.
I am not perfect. I try not to step on the scale, but I occasionally do. Honestly, I am always surprised. Yesterday I stepped on, and I was actually 161 (hence, this blog post and all these thoughts lol). I stepped off and said, yeah, EXACTLY. Screw the scale.
Engage in positive self talk. There will always be that little voice in your head over
analyzing you. I have mine too. I say to it, “Thanks, I got this. I’m hot as fuck actually at any weight so you can shut up now.”
There is nothing hotter than self confidence, positive self talk, loving yourself, honoring your female journey, honoring your body, and loving your body. Boys will still ask you out.